Controlling Negative Emotions It's just human nature to believe that if things are going well for us we must be doing something right. We also tend to believe the opposite: if things aren't going well and some misfortune occurs, we have not been doing the right things.
If a construction site collapses or a power plant erupts, we feel the need to mount a thorough investigation to find out why it happened and especially to find and punish whoever was responsible for the disaster. It is not surprising that we sometimes assume personal responsibility for our own illness and single ourselves out as deserving punishment. Explaining illness as a kind of punishment for a tragedy stemming from doing something wrong is, of course, a psychological reaction, a distortion of reality arising from the destructive emotion of guilt.
There is also a reaction called "survivors guilt." By remaining alive when others have died, some survivors dare not feel too confident or reassured for fear of somehow being punished for enjoying good fortune. They may feel that they have survived at the expense of others, although obviously they have not!
The redirection stage can be a time to learn how to lessen the destructive impact of emotional issues. Some people gain support and insight from spouses, family members or close friends. Sometimes professional help is useful, including clergy, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and counselors. For some, attending group meetings where feelings can be shared in a comfortable setting can relieve many psychological stresses. This will not abolish all anxiety, but will give expression to the deep emotions—fear, anger and guilt—that arise during a prolonged life-threatening illness. The first step toward control of negative emotions is recognizing them during this stage of living with mortality .
